Friday, October 26, 2012

Happy Progressions and Annoying Inconviences

Funny how those things so often coincide.  Hahaa. Thank you Pirates of the Caribbean.

Anyway, this week and the last few are hectic as always, but not in an awful way. I've had the end of the soccer season, the beginning of the indoor season meeting.  Continued working, which is always a plus.  Cleaned myself up a bit more and got my weight back to trim, because of some combined weight reps.  Of course all WAS going great, until the elephant came thundering through my room and sat on my chest.

Not literally.  Actually it has just been over about 7 weeks with this cough that would not go away.  Its been making my asthma even worse and then on top of all that I haven't been able to sleep at all because of it.  It made things difficult, BUT! My dad got mad and told me to go see a doctor finally where they told me I have bronchitis or whatever and gave me some antibiotics that have REALLY knocked it out.  I still have some residual meh, but hey I slept the last two nights and I'm not tired any more so its great.  Thanks DAD!

As far as progression goes! Wedding stuff yay! Happily I finally got a hold of a young man at the Dekalb County Forest Preserve District (obnoxious name), in regards as to my outdoor facility for the wedding.  Some fellow named Terry is helping me through everything, but it appears that the place (I'm intentionally not saying where until it's booked), is relatively cheap and that it will provide enough space for everyone.  I just got his email address so I could ask all the important questions and after that it should be properly booked.  Once that's done I can finish up these invites, (hanging onto those for a while more though it would nice to have them done), and after that I can start the next part.  I'm so excited people! I will be married to the most amazing man in the world in less than a year! EEEEEEeeeeEE!!!

Oh and I had a fight with the post office for two weeks now, which finally resulted in me getting my package from Val finally.  She's so awesome.  She not only sent me my book back, she also sent delicious fruit snacks, a patch for Winterfell which is grand, AND an Avengers t-shirt! Whootness! She's so nice.

Things have been going really well and I'm just happy to have them rolling along. The right lawyer is elusive yet, but I'll find him! I'm like a blood hound when it comes to these things.

Keep you posted : )
-Tine

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Back to Normal

Well people, life has returned to its normal flow.  My sister came to visit me, with her little one Molly.  My very tiny niece who is perfectly adorable.  She is Molly.  It was all a perfectly wonderful thing.  there was some stress because of things going on, and mom and her weren't always on the greatest of terms but I was more than happy to see her and more so to get to do things with her that mean something to me.  To share my life with her despite the congestion of it all.  They are home now, and I already miss them.  However, its time that my life went back on track from all the chaos that had been spinning around me and turned it into something good.

I know I talk like this sometimes, but its just me I guess.

There's been some trouble on the the Mik front.  After spending the week together it seemed to be an issue that popped up at least three times after we had laid down for the night.  His elbow is hurting in the tendon, and his bicep is tensed unconsciously.  I'm not sure if its from the medications he started, or the ones that he stopped.  But I suppose that its time research was done and a proper conversation was had with one of his doctors or all of them.  I was talking to him about starting PT but I'm not certain on how to take the next step.  Stupid complications.  I wish my head worked on a better level than others, I'm not certain all the time that I function properly with all the given information, but its alright.  Good news though on the Mikki front.  It seems mom and him are getting along so much better than they use to, and she even was complimenting him the other night because of what a good man he is.  I'm so glad that she sees that, and understands why I love him so much. I can't wait until we are one family.

And after the chaos of life and the ridiculousness that has been here for the last few months, I have finally cleared my head.  I start work again on Wednesday.  Watching the kids 5 days a week from 7:15 to 5, and thankfully it should last a while.  I'm still looking for other jobs, ones that might pay a little better , but this will get my groceries paid and bills paid.  The things that matter.  And now that all this has returned to normal I have finally sat back and thought to myself, what the HELL was I doing with myself these last few weeks?  I'm a woman!  I should get myself back into the real world where I belong.

SO! I'm going back to school.  I applied for a renewed FAFSA pin tonight and as of Wednesday I will be able to fill out the financial aid papers because of it.  If I get it or not, I'm still going back.  One class at a time or not.  I'm not going for a degree, I'm just not ready for that step.  But I'm going back for a certificate.  PC technician.  I'm good at it, I enjoy it, so why not have the training to get a job doing it?  If it works out I'll continue doing it, but I'm just ready to rejoin those who work for a living.

With work and school underway I'm thinking that everything should fall together with my lifestyle as well. I have been working on getting back on track with my health, and perhaps this is the way to do it. Mental health before physical health.  Horse before the cart.

I pick up Mikki Tuesday and I can't wait to see him again.  Life spins differently when he is here.  I'm ready for you life, WE are ready for you.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Life in Limbo

Can I say pleased? It seems every time Mik is here, my life becomes something that much better.  To know him can make a person better, but to love him and have him in my life every day?  It is something that has made my life something I could never have imagined.  In high school one would never have expected it would be me to find that person that life slowed down for.  I spent years saying no, and years saying, I won't be with anyone.  But doesn't every little girl who thinks she'll never find someone claim she doesn't really want to? That is until they've laid eyes on that person. Everything is getting better day by day.

I tried on my first wedding gown on Wednesday last week.  It was sadly not able to fit though, even if we were to tailor it.  My mom has been spending time with me a lot lately talking about it and she has decided to start learning to play my precision song on violin to play with the quartet she said she was going to get.  I'm not sure how this will all work out, but I trust her when she says she will take care of that.  Music on that note, has been enjoyable.  We've been talking, Mik and I, about music, and to avoid hearing or passing by music, we've been talking about using only 1920's to 1950's music.  I love it frankly, but I'm not sure, I think for Mik's sake we are going to use a combination, he's so much better with music than me anyway.

And then with all of that going on! My sister is finally coming home! Home for a whole week! We are picking her up from the airport this Friday and I just can't wait to see her and little Molly.  According to her, her and Jes are getting married in December and she wants to go over things with me and Mikki because we have been working on things longer than her and understand the merry-go-round, though I think I'm more scatter brained on the subject really.  How can I pretend to know anything about it all?  Anyway, my sister being here makes up for it all.  I'm excited to see her, to say the least.

So why the life in limbo? Well I lost my job.  We all knew it was coming, but it actually happened.  I have been applying non-stop since then, but its alright.  We'll figure it out I hope.  I have applied at new child care positions, and at places that are season, mostly full time people, that I have received nice polite, sorry we aren't looking anymore, calls.  I will figure it out eventually. Work is hard to find, but I'm persistent.  Hopefully this is all figured out by next month and I'm back to a normal schedule.  Until then its the same schedule, pick up Emma from school, soccer, and then search for work.  Lets just figure things out.  Its okay though, I'm optimistic on the topic right now.

Yep so right now? Me? I'm in a great mood, but that of course is because Mik just spent a week here, I'm sure in a few days I'll be my grumpy self again, but it seems for now that its a good thing.  Anger never got anyone anywhere.  Safe enough to say I haven't got my picture a day done for some time, my camera has been acting funny for the last week ever since my last soccer game so no updates there, but I took a few with someone else's camera during soccer, and reminded my why I so want an SLR no matter what.  Wants however are nothing compared to needs, and its time to go check the paper!

Thank you all!

-Tine

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Corn Fest

Never is there a weekend, (my fiancĂ©e can attest to this), that I have been able to just sit at home and do nothing alllll weekend.  And this Sunday's new interruption? Emma is preforming at Cornfest! Which is great and enjoyable and fun because I am suppose to be getting out there anyway right? Today I'm going to get all gussied up and look adorable for absolutely no one but me and take some photos of Emma getting to play for a couple few people in the rain at Corn Fest.  But hey, rain is another thing that I get to take pictures of.  I've never captured it fully in all its glory so I suppose its about time I tried. 


On top of all that.  After a loud and uncomfortable bout of yelling by parents on the sidelines this soccer game, mom had to go about making amends with all the soccer directors.  Which turned into the soccer director making a point of telling her how soccer isn't a competitive sport.  20 years of coaching has given the opposing view on that and I now foresee a war. Honestly the whole thing was blown out of proportion simply because the man didn't let mom do her job.

----- Historical Reenactment-----

4 minutes to end of game, tie game, high tension...

Referee Eileen: (at stoppage of play): Time!
Time Keeper: 4 minutes!
Soccer Director (comes up in his golf cart): Hey you can't be coaching and shouting the time out at the kids. You have to stop that!
Time Keeper: Hey man, you aren't important here, get back in your golf cart and leave.  Let our kids play.

(ongoing sideline banter)

Game ends...

Soccer Director: You know Eileen, you can't have parents telling people the time.  It makes kids act differently than they ever would.
Eileen: No.  I only ask for time from a timekeeper during stoppage of play so I know where we are at.  I don't have a clock.  Apart from that it does nothing for the kids.
Director: I suppose but I want that guys name, he's suspended for the season.

------end of reenactment----


Okay so it really was no big thing.  I mean, he shouldn't have said it, but for the season!  And then mom abide by it having been a paid regional ref for so long knew she was right anyway.  BUT THEN! After writing up a report, and then writing our parents an email telling them whenever this happens there are repercussions.  Some people can be removed from games and others can be removed for the season.  Then in reply to her email, the director says.  Soccer isn't competitive and shouldn't have the score tracked at all. which has turned into destruction of mom's faith in soccer.  Every year its something...

Oh well.  Off to Corn Fest!

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Make-up Fun with Emma

There's nothing more enjoyable than a lazy afternoon, doing nothing on the couch and thinking about your next tasty dinner.  I can think of nothing I appreciate more apart from! Getting out my makeup and designing Emma's face for a house party!  I've been practicing for doing up a mask on Halloween, but before I can get that advanced I thought I'd test my hand at something a tad different.  This mask was just made from powder eye shadow and liquid eyeliner.  Can't wait for Val to come around so I can try it on her.  And maybe one of these days mom will let me try on her too, but Emma has more patience I think.  She likes being made up like a little fairy princess.  So without further drawing out the process!


Photoshoot Day 3!



I took several others, and tinkered with them, but since this one I did nothing to, I just snapped the picture I believed it should be the official picture of the day.  Please to discover my radial blur tools though, they look great on the others.




Friday, August 24, 2012

Soccer is...

Soccer is an amazing thing I have got to say.  It starts out with the shinguards.  Putting on the equipment and tying back your hair knowing that as soon as you step your feet on that grass the game is on!  I see the kids run and instantly I'm running beside them. Asthma is no longer and issue, the stitch in my side is gone, and the pain in my ankle no longer exists for those brief moments and there is nothing but, the ball.


I have such a great time playing the game and teaching it as satisfying as running the field.  Being able to share it with my sister and my mom is something that just brings me joy.  This week we had Kate's parents, Elizabeth and Tonya come out and play a game after practice.  Neither had played the game before and Tonya had never played another sport in her life.  Yet they were both their, bitten by the bug, and couldn't stop playing no matter how tired they got.  

Soccer is simply great.  Plus of course the fact that I can still outrun all the kids and mom makes me pleased beyond all reason.  Of course mom agrees I should be able to outrun a 50 year old, but that's just still amazing to me.  So much fun.  Maybe when Val comes back for the week she'll play with us and I can earn some well deserved bruises.  

Anyway today was day 12 of 60.  Tomorrow I'll weigh myself before the game and see how well the routine is working.  As long as I've gained nothing I think I'll be pleased.  AND! For the picture of the day.


Picture of the Day #2

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Photo Focus

Take up the challenge! A photo a day!  Post it up with a story or anything else you care to share or make up for it! Be creative, get involved. Seize the day! 



Day 1!


The dawn of time and the end of time....


In the beginning there was life just starting to come forth! And in the end? It all blows away.




Excited Much?

Yes, I believe I am.  


There is something really satisfying about starting new journeys in your life, or even changing things that you have had the same all your life.  So I am.  I have been considering for some time now.  The fact that my job, one that I have been grateful to have for the last three years, appears to be coming to a close, as well as getting ready to be married are so close at hand now I can actually see it in my mind, have inspired me to become a person worthy of such gifts.  I should have started working on myself years ago, those tiny lazy cells in my body just seemed to multiply though and now I find myself wishing back all those days I spent pretending everything would go on forever would allow me to take it all back and make it right.  I have had a wonderful opportunity in this job and this life and I think its time I started remembering everything like this before its gone.  Its time I stepped up.

I can't guarantee a job for myself, or make the world change its views.  But I can work and improve upon my person.  No more compromising my integrity because of mere boredom or laziness.  As to that I am going to begin the process once again of making myself into a better person.  

Sadly there are so many things I need changing.  I feel those things that I will focus on most though are those that will somehow make my life and the life of the people I love, better.  The first of which?

Health.

I spent a good portion of my life the last few years working on building myself back from being overweight and also from having very low self esteem.  Well I think for the most part, I was a success in terms of weight-loss. 40lbs later I feel much better when someone asks to take a family picture or having Mik put his arms about me. However, that's not the only thing I had hoped to achieve.  Health is not just the weight of a human being, but its also their state of mind.  I have been fighting for some time about my idea of myself and have always been the person to look in the mirror and cry.  Even now.  So its time I start reminding myself just who I am and how beautiful I am.  Its not so hard right now, looking at it the way it is.  I just have to remind myself that this is really who I am.  I am the person God made, and the person Mik is marrying.  I have a beautiful family who love me, and I am a soccer playing, limb all intact, human being.  From now on, if I start thinking otherwise, its time I came back here and reminded myself.

Language.

Well some people might not understand this one, but I believe that in a society where language is starting to leave us all for the digital era to take over with voice connected trash... that I should be more true to me and really work to communicate like an adult.  As a kid I grew up where swearing wasn't an option, and I liked it that way.  I understand some people enjoy it but I do not.  I have insulted myself falling in with those who like to generalize using the words like crap, etc.  I am better than that.  So from now on the piggy bank on my shelf has a post it note on it that says 'the swear pig.' I am hoping not to falter in this.  Language is a most important thing.

Order.

Just like it sounds.  Who's going to hire someone cluttered and dirty? No one if I had my way of it.  So its time I cleaned up my act and got it together.  Calenders everywhere if I need it, and lists of things to do so I don't forget them, but its time that order and function became a staple in my house!  With so many great things happening in my life, I can't afford to be someone I don't want to be.  And laying in a bed I haven't made in three days is one of those things...


I'm making a list and checking it twice and as of today I am giving it my all.

And as far as things go? Time to get my camera back in action. A photo a day no matter what the circumstances!


-Justine
A busy bee.

Grass is Always Greener

here.


I think its time that communication moved on from the one liners people make on facebook, or the over abundance of personal information that no one should ever have a right sharing.  So on that note, I have decided that this blog will be the vessel that the information of my life will be stored.  Interesting or not it will merely be the place that people can come to see pictures or watch ongoing projects, or in the moments I actually wish to share, talk about what life has been treating me with.  Over communication is a vastly large issue these days and I have had my fill of people's war on opinion.  If you truly want to know a person what they choose to say about themselves says far more about them than the one line 'I lost my keys' on facebook.  Certainly it is important to you, but who hundreds of miles away can do anything about your keys.  So here I am making an effort to take a stand about information overload.  Please feel free to chime in and welcome!

I have had two prior blogs to this, my garden blog, and my photo blog, they are now all one and the same.  My happiness is with those things so why not keep it in the happy place?  If you haven't kept up to date on it, that's cool, now you know they exist and feel free to join in the adventure!  The one thing that blogging enables that Facebook doesn't? Talking to yourself in mass quantities.  Life can not be described in one sentence, or a corny picture someone found.  This allows the person that needs to say something the space to say it in.  And I welcome you all to experience it as you please.

Welcome to Express Yourself!

-Justine

(these are the prior journals)
Garden Blog
Photo Blog