Excited Much?

Yes, I believe I am.  


There is something really satisfying about starting new journeys in your life, or even changing things that you have had the same all your life.  So I am.  I have been considering for some time now.  The fact that my job, one that I have been grateful to have for the last three years, appears to be coming to a close, as well as getting ready to be married are so close at hand now I can actually see it in my mind, have inspired me to become a person worthy of such gifts.  I should have started working on myself years ago, those tiny lazy cells in my body just seemed to multiply though and now I find myself wishing back all those days I spent pretending everything would go on forever would allow me to take it all back and make it right.  I have had a wonderful opportunity in this job and this life and I think its time I started remembering everything like this before its gone.  Its time I stepped up.

I can't guarantee a job for myself, or make the world change its views.  But I can work and improve upon my person.  No more compromising my integrity because of mere boredom or laziness.  As to that I am going to begin the process once again of making myself into a better person.  

Sadly there are so many things I need changing.  I feel those things that I will focus on most though are those that will somehow make my life and the life of the people I love, better.  The first of which?

Health.

I spent a good portion of my life the last few years working on building myself back from being overweight and also from having very low self esteem.  Well I think for the most part, I was a success in terms of weight-loss. 40lbs later I feel much better when someone asks to take a family picture or having Mik put his arms about me. However, that's not the only thing I had hoped to achieve.  Health is not just the weight of a human being, but its also their state of mind.  I have been fighting for some time about my idea of myself and have always been the person to look in the mirror and cry.  Even now.  So its time I start reminding myself just who I am and how beautiful I am.  Its not so hard right now, looking at it the way it is.  I just have to remind myself that this is really who I am.  I am the person God made, and the person Mik is marrying.  I have a beautiful family who love me, and I am a soccer playing, limb all intact, human being.  From now on, if I start thinking otherwise, its time I came back here and reminded myself.

Language.

Well some people might not understand this one, but I believe that in a society where language is starting to leave us all for the digital era to take over with voice connected trash... that I should be more true to me and really work to communicate like an adult.  As a kid I grew up where swearing wasn't an option, and I liked it that way.  I understand some people enjoy it but I do not.  I have insulted myself falling in with those who like to generalize using the words like crap, etc.  I am better than that.  So from now on the piggy bank on my shelf has a post it note on it that says 'the swear pig.' I am hoping not to falter in this.  Language is a most important thing.

Order.

Just like it sounds.  Who's going to hire someone cluttered and dirty? No one if I had my way of it.  So its time I cleaned up my act and got it together.  Calenders everywhere if I need it, and lists of things to do so I don't forget them, but its time that order and function became a staple in my house!  With so many great things happening in my life, I can't afford to be someone I don't want to be.  And laying in a bed I haven't made in three days is one of those things...


I'm making a list and checking it twice and as of today I am giving it my all.

And as far as things go? Time to get my camera back in action. A photo a day no matter what the circumstances!


-Justine
A busy bee.